Week 6, Unit 5 Tasks 2, 5 To do: Make a submission Read unit 5 in your text, Academic writing for graduate students: Essential tasks and skills (3rd ed.). On a word document, complete the following tasks: 2, 5. Please label these tasks and the associated numbers with them in your document so that it is clear what you are answering. Upon completion of all tasks, please upload your answers here. TASK TWO Which of these five texts seems best as a general background paragraph for a paper arguing that energy drinks are a potential public health problem? Explain your choice. 1. In the U.S., 200 new energy drink brands were launched in the 12-month period ending July 2007 (Packaged Facts, 2007). From 2002 to 2006, the average annual growth rate in energy drink sales was 55% (Packaged Facts, 2007) (Fig. 1). In 2006, the total U.S. retail market value for energy drinks (from all sources) was approximately $5.4 billion and has shown a similar annual growth rate over this same period (47%) (Packaged Facts, 2007). These drinks vary widely in both caffeine content (ranging from 50 to 505 mg per can or bottle) and caffeine concentration (ranging from 2.5 to 171 mg per fluid ounce). 2. According to Packaged Facts (as cited in Reissig et al., 2009), between 2006 and 2007 hundreds of energy drink brands were introduced into the U.S. market. This was likely a result of producers recognizing energy drinks as a very profitable product with growth potential. In fact, the average annual growth rate in energy drink sales was 55% (Packaged Facts, 2007) (Fig. 1). Research by Packaged Facts (as cited in Reissig et al., 2009) shows that the total U.S. retail market value for energy drinks (From all sources) was estimated to be $5.4 billion in 2006 and has shown a similar annual growth rate over this same period (47%). These drinks vary widely in both caffeine content (Ranging from 50 to 505 mg per can or bottle) and caffeine concentration (ranging from 2.5 to 171 mg per fluid ounce). Since the long-term effects of these high levels of caffeine are not known, there is a chance that consumption of these drinks may be harmful. 3. In 2002, sales of energy drinks in the United States were just over $100 million. By 2006, however, this figure was $700 million. Although this tremendous growth is welcome news for producers and retailers, it is unclear what the long-term health consequences may be (Reissig et al., 2009). This uncertainty may even encourage higher levels of consumption, leading to possible health issues. 4. Hundreds of new energy drink brands have been introduced into the market over the past decade Johnson, 2006). Along With this growth, sales have also dramatically increased, reaching a market value of billions of dollars in the U.S. alone. Clearly, the demand for caffeine, which varies widely in these drinks, is insatiable and a public health crisis is about to emerge. 5. Energy drink consumption is rapidly growing, which is a source of concern among health professionals (Reissig et al., 2009). Specifically, researchers do not know what the long- and short-term effects of caffeine and other additives in these drinks may be (Reissig, 2009). Thus, we may soon be facing public health crisis. Now use information from the Reissig et al. text to respond to the question of whether energy drinks pose a public health problem. At this point, we want to draw your attention to an issue that has been receiving increasing attention within and outside academia, specifically using your own words when you borrow information from the work of others as you write your papers. Some Notes on Plagiarism Plagiarism is best defined as a deliberate activity-the conscious copying from the work of others. The concept of plagiarism has become an integral part of North American and Western European countries. It is based on a number of assumptions that may not hold true in all cultures. One is a rather romantic assumption that the writer is an original, individual, creative artist. Another is that original ideas and expressions are the acknowledged property of their creators (as is the case with a patent for an invention). Yet another is that it is a sign of disrespect rather than a respect-to copy without acknowledgment from the works of published authorities. This even includes the use of images and figures that you have downloaded from the internet, but for which you give no source. Of course, borrowing the words and phrases of others can be a useful language learning strategy. Certainly, you would not be plagiarizing if you borrowed items that are frequently used in academic English (skeletal phrases) or that are common knowledge, such as these examples. Paris is the capital of France. An increase in demand often leads to an increase in price. The results from this experiment seem to suggest that …. These results are statistically significant. Indeed, if you can never use standard phraseology and expressions of your field or academia in general, it would be difficult to improve your writing. The key is knowing the difference between the language used by most writers to present their own perspectives and new ideas and language that expresses someone else’s unique content and ideas. For instance, let’s look at a text that we provided in Unit Two. 1 The increasing popularity of electric vehicles (EVs) and plug-in hybrid electric vehicles (PHEVs) is attributed to the savings in fuel costs compared to conventional internal combustion engine (ICE) vehicles. 2 EVs and PHEVs save energy due to the employment of reverse regenerating braking during the deceleration cycle. 3 This energy is typically stored in batteries and ultracapacitors (UCs). 4 The incorporation of onboard energy storage systems (ESS) and generation in PHEVs has been facilitated and dictated by the market demands for enhanced performance and range. In this text, we believe there is language in Sentence 1 that you can borrow. 1) The increasing popularity of ____ is attributed to ___________ So, you might write this new sentence for a completely different topic. 1) The increasing popularity of Voice over Internet Protocol (VoIP) can be attributed to its low cost. In Sentence 4, we think it would be fine to use this language. Can you complete the sentence using information from your field? We offer an example to get you started. 4) “The incorporation of ____ in ____ has been facilitated by ___ _ The incorporation of corpus data in academic writing courses has been facilitated by the availability of large corpora on the internet. It would not, however, be acceptable to take the original sentences in their entirety and use them in your own text-unless you placed quotation marks around them. Copying sentences without quotation marks amounts to passing off someone else’s work as your own. You should also be aware that you should not borrow “famous” phrases without at least putting them in quotation marks. Here, for example, is a famous quotation by Louis Pasteur, which was originally in French. Chance favors the prepared mind. If you wanted to use this phrase, you should recognize its special status. We would encourage you to borrow standard phraseology of your field and skeletal phrases when appropriate, but not special expressions such as the Pasteur quote (unless these are placed in quotation marks). TASK FIVE Re-write the excerpt at the bottom of page 202 using because and lead to, changing the vocabulary and grammar as necessary. Here are two examples using due to. Example: due to Safe driving practices may be compromised due to the presence of technology in cars that is not directly related to vehicle operation including cell phones, music players, and GPS. Drivers today may fail to concentrate on the road and other drivers due to the presence of technology such as cell phones, music players, GPS, and other technology that is unrelated to driving.
1. Use because: ____________________________________________________
2. Use lead to: ______________________________________________________
3. Write two paraphrases of this short text. Before writing, break the task into important points, relationships, linking phrases and connectors, and synonyms. Passive safety systems help lessen the impact of driving accidents. They do nothing to contribute to preventing drivers from getting into an accident. Important points: ___________________________________________________ Relationship between the points: _______________________________________ Linking phrases or expressions to connect the points: _______________________ Possible synonyms: __________________________________________________ Paraphrase
1: _______________________________________________________ Paraphrase
2: _______________________________________________________ As the task suggests, paraphrasing IS hard work, particularly when it comes to vocabulary. Careful Use of Synonyms When using synonyms, you need to be careful about your choices. Not all synonyms work equally well in all contexts. Take this example, for instance. The system is intended to provide continuous car-following support within a wide range of car-following situations-not only in critical situations. If you follow a simple synonym substitution process, you may produce something like this. In many kinds of car· following situations-not only in the grave situations-the system is planned to present persistent car-following support.
The rearrangement of the ideas is good and is an important strategy for paraphrasing. However, grave and critical are not quite similar enough in this context. Perhaps dangerous would be a better choice here. In addition, present persistent car-following support does not work so well because the collocation (simply put, words that tend to go together) is awkward. Offer might be a better choice. If you need to check whether the words you want to use go together, you can search the internet, ideally Google Scholar. To conduct your search, place the expression of interest in quotation marks and, if you think it would be helpful, use a wild card indicated by an asterisk (*) in the expression so that you can capture variations of the expression. For instance, we did this search on Google Scholar. To narrow hits to your field of study, include a relevant term outside the quotation marks. “the system is * to * support” We found these interesting possibilities. The system is designed to fully support is configured to directly is built to unobtrusively is intended to optionally is expected is developed is able is placed is placed We even found many instances of useful modification and split infinitives.
The system is designed to fully support is configured to directly is built to unobtrusively is intended to optionally is expected is developed is able is placed So, we can write something like this. The system is configured to provide ongoing car-following support in many types of situations, not only those that are identified as dangerous. Note that the language has been substantially changed, although the sense of the original is fully maintained. A paraphrase approach to summarizing can be somewhat successful, but if you do this sentence by sentence for a longer stretch of text, you run the risk of not demonstrating your full understanding of the passage. You might miss an opportunity to highlight key points. Another possible danger is that the resulting summary may not be original enough and could be considered plagiarism by some. If you (understandably) feel that your paraphrasing ability is not strong, you can copy some material and place it in quotation marks; however, a better but more difficult strategy would be to carefully consider the elements you have identified as important, put the original away, and write what you have understood. This may allow you to condense the ideas in the source even further. To sum up, when you write a formal summary of someone else’s ideas, you should keep in mind the following guidelines.
1. Always try to use your own words.
2. Include enough support and detail so that your message is clear.
3. Do not try to paraphrase specialized vocabulary or technical terms.
4. Make sure the summary reads smoothly. Focus on old-to-new information flow; use transition devices where necessary, and provide supporting detail. You do not want a collection of sentences that does not flow. 5. If it is impossible to use your own words, then quote the material. Remember, however, that too much quoting will not likely result in a successful paper. Information from sources should support, but not replace, your own ideas, interpretations, and explanations.